Covid19 and Long-Distance Relationships & Friendships
Hey Naija Guy/Girl;
Slow your roll, stay in your house, take your vitamins, wash your hands and drink some water.
You know you are only practicing washing your hands, using sanitizer and other safe hygiene practices as a cautionary exercise. In less than one week since I wrote this article, one person has died and there are new cases confirmed and a lot more unconfirmed yet some people still think this virus is a white-man disease. I get infuriated when I hear educated people say things like this. It just gets me wondering if those who invested in them to get some education could have done better stuff with their resources.
But still, the virus isn’t as in our faces it is in other places. Thank God, travel bans are being put in place already. So, for a while, we have distanced ourselves from the outside world. Returnees from high-risk cities have been asked to self-isolate for a while and that’s a good call.
Here in Nigeria, we aren’t really practicing social distancing. Yesterday, I went out for the first time in a long time and I saw people everywhere like nothing is happening. Fundamentally, another human isn’t supposed to be in your airspace. People you are intimate with — friends, lovers, children and family should stand about 18 inches apart while strangers should be about 3.6 meters away. Thank God for that logic class in UI, Proxemics isn’t a waste after all.
So, the Covid19 isn’t really affecting us like it is the rest of the world — the rest of the world where your crush is, where your girlfriend/boyfriend is or where your wife/ husband is. No matter how much you see in the news or how much they personally explain to you what’s going on, you may never absolutely get the drift. People in the UK, US, Italy, China, Germany, Russia, France, etc are having a tough time in all forms — physiologically, mentally, emotionally and their economies are also sick in such terrible times.
My partner is in the US and I’m here in Nigeria. We tried to explain further here.
The last thing you want to do is add an extra ton of things they have to worry about.
Your relationships might undergo some strain. Don’t freak out. It’s just till the wind blows over all these. Or is it?
They might call lesser than they usually do or send fewer texts than they usually do. Remember, they aren’t going out right now. All the pictures and videos they used to send might not come in as much because they are indoors. They are scared, trying their best to stay healthy and wishing for a new dawn.
And if you have a partner who’s got the virus already, how do make sure you’re there for them? I don’t know how you can be there for them but I know how you shouldn’t be. By not calling incessantly. By not bickering over little things such as calls, texts or something. By not asking about their health every time they get a chance to talk to you. They would most probably want some normalcy, so call and be cheerful. Create a playlist for them and send to them. Be mindful of their health and call less. Pray with them. Connect with those taking care of them — that way you have firsthand information on how they are really doing.
In such a time as this, when people’s bodies are failing them and giving way to these foreign bodies to infiltrate their immune system, you want to be someone’s happy place or safe space. People are working on maintaining a high level of enthusiasm, hope and sanity. You should help strengthen those stakes not make their walls crumbling down. Remind them of all the joy in the world and in what you share. Reinforce their health to them. Tell them they are going to be okay. Plan ahead for when they get better or when things get better, the places you’d go together and the foods you’d try.
Your crush who enjoys giggling with you as much as they can might not even have time to respond your messages now because of the state of affairs over there.
While they may be social distancing, self-isolating or quarantining; get appropriate information from the World Health Organization on how to take care of one’s emotional wellbeing during this time and act accordingly.
Of course, if it feels like the end of the world doesn’t mean the fun in your relationship should stop. Just look for ways to still have fun, spend quality time together because in the end, all these are what matters.
It’s a tough time for all of us and just like Trevor Noah said, this isn’t how we all die.
